Dads Water Jug

Growing up one of my favorite things was when Dad would get home from work; it was a race to get to Dad and get the first love.  He also had a water jug on his work truck that was always full of ice water.  We would stay out talking, laughing and drinking ice cold water.  Shon was just a little guy well he has never been little.  He was always taller and broader than the average kid his age.  Any way he loved ice water.  He could drink gallons.

As we got older we stopped racing out to see dad.  I never thought about how it made dad feel.  We just figured we were getting too old to do that.  I think I know how Dad felt now that I have experienced some of the same things.

The boys used to be really excited when I would get home from work.  Like me I think they think they are too old.  I come home now they do not even get up off the couch to give me a love.  Oh I know they love me and I should not get the poor me attitude.  Maybe I should get a big old ice jest and fill it full of sodas and I could bribe them into racing out to see their old man. 

On a more serious note this really makes me feel bad that I done the same thing to Dad.  Dad I am really sorry.  I want you to know that I love you and always have loved you.  I have few regrets in life but if I could redo growing up this is one thing I would defiantly change.  Mom I know you talked to us about this when we stopped racing out; I wish I would have listened better.

Well maybe if any younger people read this they might learn from my mistakes.  The time we spent out at that water cooler was some of my happiest times.

The Phesant and the Mail Lady

I was thinking of when I was younger and how important pheasant hunting was to us.  Now you have to understand it was a community event.  I remember the sports stores having longest tail feather contest.  Heck even in school we had the longest tail feather contest.  If you had the longest tail feather you got your picture taken with the tail feather and your gun.

 I think the thing that made it the best for me is hunting with my Dad.  Now my Dad had the best dogs in the whole Uintah Basin.  They could find a bird no matter what the weather or terrain. 

We would get up early opening day and get the chores done so we could start hunting at sun up.  Usually our uncles and cousins would meet us at our house.  We would start right at the house walking the ditch banks going down one then move over and up the next one. 

The most coveted hunting spot was the gulch it was full of willows and sage brush the only good way to hunt it was with dogs.  We would start at the top end right by the road and hunt down to highway 40.

I remember one year we were just starting to hunt the gulch.  It was Dad, Uncle David, Tavis, Steven and I.  We were just getting started Uncle David and Tavis was on the South side Dad, Steven and I were on the North side.  The pheasants were running really badly that day making it difficult to hunt.  We started down the gulch the dogs Brownie and Buster were working hard.  Dad said watch close they have a sent.  We were watching them closely it looked like the pheasant was running it ran up the gulch then flew.  It was a rooster.  We all pulled up to shoot but the road was right there and the mail lady.  I think the pheasant almost flew right into her open window.

I am not sure what scared her more the pheasant or five shot guns pointed at her.  She laid over in her seat but did not wreck.  After she realized she was okay she sat back up and waived.  We all looked at each other with an embarrassing look and waived back.  Dad said come on were burning day light.  We hunted the rest of the day.

It’s kind of funny now looking back on it.  I bet she thought she was a goner.   

The Elk Hunt

I was thinking about elk hunting.  One year comes to mind; it had snowed about six inches and I was going to be hunting on Black my horse.  I figured for sure I could get on some fresh tracks and follow them until I could get a shot.

Well I started out early that morning; I rode for several miles and had not seen anything.  I was starting to get discouraged and then I saw what looked like tracks crossing the trail.  As I rode up closer I could see it was a lone elk.  I started to get excited; one elk by itself, it must be a bull and the tracks looked pretty big.  I sure was hoping it would be a nice bull.  I started following the tracks they look fresh.

I felt like I was getting closer I even thought I could smell him.  I rode as fast as I could without making too much noise.  The trees were getting thicker I could not see very well but I knew the area quite well.  I was hoping he would head more toward the face of Taylor but he didn’t he headed right for the pole timber.  The young trees were so thick I thought for sure he could not get through them. Man was I ever wrong I don’t think it even slowed him down I think he knew he was being followed and was going where it would be hardest to be followed.

I know I don’t even know for sure if it’s even a bull and I am talking like he is trying to outsmart me.  Well this is what was going through my mind as I was tracking him.

The pole timber got to thick to ride anymore but I could not give up I knew we were coming to a clear cut timber sale.  I figured this is where I would get my chance.  I got off Black and I lead her.  It was tight for me to fit through the trees let alone dragging a horse behind me but Black was doing okay she was a good horse. 

I could see we were getting close to the timber sale I slowed down and kept my eyes and ears pealed.  I looked back at Black once in a while knowing she had much better ears and eyes than I had;  I had hunted on Black enough to know that if she heard something her ears would point in the direction of the noise.

Sure enough she looked toward the East end of the clearing with her ears pointed the same direction.  I did not even look I just went straight for my gun in my scabbard.  I reached back, panic set in.  My gun it was gone.  The bolt must have got caught on a branch and jerked out of the scabbard.

I did not even look to see if it was an elk that Black had seen and heard.  I tied Black up right there and started back tracking.  I figured I might see where it fell in the fresh snow.  I walked clear back where I first started tracking the elk.  I had no luck I was pretty upset I figured I lost my gun for good.

I started back to get Black feeling sick to my stomach.  I decided to give it one more try I swept my foot back and forth through the snow as I walked.  I was not having any luck I was getting close to Black I could see her through the trees.  I kept running my feet through the snow.  I was about thirty feet from Black When I felt something I got down on my hands and knees, brushed the snow away and there it was my trusty old 270 rifle.

I was so happy to find my gun I cleaned the snow out of the barrel.  I carried it out of the pole timber, as we got in the timber sale I put my gun in the scabbard climbed on Black and headed back to camp.  It had taken me several hours looking for my gun.  I figured that big old bull elk was long gone and I was exhausted.  I did learn a valuable lesson that day that I will never forget.  You guessed it when I get off my horse my gun comes out of the scabbard and into my hands.  I often wonder if I would have got my elk that day if I had only been a little bit smarter.    

The Bull

Whenever I need a good laugh I like to think of the time uncle Van brought his bull over to my place on the creek.  You see I had more pasture than cows so I made a deal with Dad and uncle Van to run some cows with mine.  Uncle Van had a bull he had just got from the bull sale I had not seen him yet.  Dad told me he was a good looking bull.  I met uncle Van at the gate by Mr. Price’s house.  We decided to unload him right at the gate.  The cows were just on the other side of the house. We figured he could find the cows okay. 

Well I have to tell you I was pretty excited to see this bull I knew uncle Van had paid quite a bit for him.  The stock trailer was squatting pretty good, all I could see was the bulls back through the rails of the trailer.  I had uncle Van back up right in the gate next to the gate post so I could pull the gate up against the trailer just in case he was on the fight from being hauled.  Dad had always taught us to never trust a bull.  Uncle Van told me that would not be necessary he was a pretty gentle bull.  Just to be safe I left the gate close.

Uncle Van opened the trailer door finally I get to see him.  I figured he would jump right on out but he was in no hurry.  He finally started out; just picture this in your head, the old trailer rocked with every step as he got to the back the tong of the trailer was trying to lift the back of the truck.  As he stepped out of the trailer it bounced back to its proper height.  He was an awesome bull I was impressed.  I could see uncle Van was pretty proud also.

Now the bull he looked around.  There was a big old Grease Wood just through the gate the bull went over and just destroyed it with his head and front hoofs; I never really liked it anyway.  After destroying the Grease Wood he looked around like he wanted to destroy something else I pulled the gate a bit closer.  About then one of the cow’s mood as to tell him they were over there.   The big old bull lifted his head curled his nose and let out a moo and trotted off with his tail lifted high; now let me tell you this was not a normal moo.  This moo sounded like a calf stuck in the fence by his jewels.  It was high pitched and the way he trotted off with his tail in the air.  I have to tell you I was a bit worried about the other bull; I thought he may be more interested in him than the cows. 

I started to laugh; here was this massive bull that just destroyed a Grease Wood and he mooed like a girly bull.  I could not help myself.  Uncle Van did not laugh, I don’t think he thought it was as funny as I did.  I felt kind of bad for laughing at his bull but it was funny.

Just so you know he did a great job the cows all loved him and he produced some really good looking calves and I never seen him acting funny toward the other bull.  I guess he might have just been going through the awkward stage of life when his moo was changing and he ran like a girl.  I think they call it puberty.           

My Brother Steven Stubbs

My older brother Steven Stubbs you are an amazing brother.  I got to tell you I am envious of you sometimes.  You have so many talents; music, art and writing are just a few of them.  I have seen you listen to a song and play it back like you wrote it.  I have no talents I can’t even start to play a tune.  I have seen some of the pictures you have drew, I can’t even draw stick people.  I still have some of the letters you have written me.  I dabble around on my blog but it is nothing like what you can write.

Brother I know I have not been the best brother in the world.  I know I have not been there for you like I should have been.  We were always so close growing up we started to grow apart.  I guess I need to take most the blame; I was only worried about myself.

Steven one of the things that impressed me the most is your loyalty.  If Steven Stubbs is your friend or family you can count on him having your back no matter what the circumstances.  I think this might have got you in trouble a time or two.  I also know you love your family.  You even loved me when I done some really crappy things.  I cannot get back the time that I wasted but I can do better today.

Brother I love you so much I am so happy to have you for my brother.  I may not have your talents but I have learned something from you.  I will be a loyal brother, you can always count on me to be there for you; I have your back.

My Grandma Stubbs

My Grandma Stubbs I really love her and miss her.  My Grandma was an amazing person.  She was pretty blunt she did not sugar coat things she was able to tell it the way it was in a loving but effective way.  I asked her for advice often in my teen years.  I always knew I was getting a strait up answer. 

I do remember a time when I was young I was riding my bike and stubbed my big toe.  It was when they were building the new home just south of the old home.  My toe was hurt and I went to Grandma looking for sympathy and loves but what I got was tough love.  I showed her my toe she asked me to let her see it.  So I lifted my foot up to her she grabbed my half torn off toenail and gave it a yank.  I was in shock I wanted her to baby me and tell me how bad she felt for me.  At the time I did not appreciate what she had done.  As I got older I really appreciated her not babying me.  She knew that was the only way to make it better.  She also knew I needed to toughen up.

Another time I had went to Saint George with Grandpa and Grandma to help moves some stuff back to Vernal.  We loaded up the van and Car the car was a bigger car I cannot remember what make.  Grandpa drove the van I was going to drive the car.  Grandma rode with me we had some good talks.  I was falling way behind, the car did not have much power every hill slowed it way down.  I put the Cruz control on and man that old car came alive it started gaining speed and not slowing down.  It did not take to long for Grandma to tell me we better not use that.  After a while she dozed off I thought she was sound to sleep so I set the Cruz figuring I would just use it to catch up to Grandpa.  I still don’t know how she knew.  She told me she was serious and if I wanted to drive I had better behave.  She had a way of letting me know.

My Dad was not a drinker but one Christmas Eve he had a few drinks at his work Christmas party.  He got really sick.  I remember Mom was pretty upset I think Dad just wanted to die.  He was in the bathroom all night and Christmas Morning.  Grandpa and Grandma came over Christmas morning I remember her asking where Dad was I can’t remember exactly what Mom told her.  All I remember is Grandma marching right into the bathroom and giving Dad a lecture I am sure he has never forgot.  Steven and I thought it was kind of funny Grandma lecturing Dad.  I was pretty young so this is how I remember it.

I loved my Grandma dearly when she passed away I was going down to see them.  Mom caught me just before I left and told me she had passed away.  I ended up not going down since they were going to have the funeral in Vernal.  After Mom had told me I did not cry I guess it really did not sink in for quite a while.  I was walking around outside by myself when it finally hit me she was gone I would never see her again.  I was pretty upset Mom must have sensed something because she found me and gave me some loves.  This helped but I still was hurting I went off by myself.  This is when I felt Grandmas presents around me I knew then that she was not gone completely.  I still feel her presents often mostly when I am starting to make a bad choices.

I had never seen my Dad, Grandpa or uncles cry until Grandmas Funeral.  I know they all loved her so much.  She was such a great wife, mother, Grandma.  I know she loved her family and she had a strong testimony of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father Knows Best

I have been thinking about what is important in my life.  It has always been my family but some of the things I want for them and I have changed drastically.  I used to think we needed money to be happy.  I worked really hard to see that my family had all the material things in life.  It took a lot of hard work to get these things.  I worked seven days a week, long hours, on call twenty four seven.  I missed family vacations, family outings, and sporting events.

 I thought I was a great dad, I really did.  It took a divorce to wake me up.  My ex-wife told me that I was not a very good dad; I was in shock I could not believe she could say such a thing.  I thought for sure she was just trying to hurt me.  So I called her on it, I told her that was not fair that I was a good dad I worked hard for my boys and loved them dearly.  She told me that she knew I loved them but I was never around.  I remember really thinking about this I cried for a long time I realized I had not been there and material things did not cut it. 

Well I have to say this is when my life started to really change.  I could not relive the past or make my ex-wife change no matter how much I prayed.  I learned as much as Heavenly Father loves us he will never interfere in our agency.  I learned Heavenly Father loves me no matter what I have done and that I could be forgiven.  Church became a very important part of my life.  I realized it is the time we spend with our family not the things we buy them that makes the difference. 

My boys were really forgiving they joined me in church and family prayers.  Our lives were changing for the better.  Trevor decided to go on a mission.  The other boys became active in other church activities.  I was starting to see through my spiritual eyes.  The spirit was so strong in our lives.  I had never really felt the spirit like this.  I wanted to feel it all the time.  I was told it would even get stronger I could not comprehend how this was possible I was already feeling like I was on top of the world.

I prayed all the time Heavenly Father was with me continually.  He helped me through the tough times and the good.  I felt so blessed but I was missing not having someone to talk to and share all these amazing things. 

Then I was blessed to meet an amazing woman Michelle (my Pretty Girl) she is such a blessing in my life.  I know our Heavenly Father help bring us together.  I gained an amazing wife and two more sons that I love so much.  I won’t lie there has been some lessons and learning and I am sure there will be even more yet to come.

I again am working a lot and am not home much because of some choices we have made.  I felt we made these choices by praying and following the Spirit.  I have had some doubt about whether we made the right choices.  After much pondering and praying I feel Heavenly Father wants us to go through these trials for a greater purpose.  I believe he had work for me to do in the places I have been and has work for me to do in the places I am going.  I also believe he is preparing me and my family for things to come.  I don’t know what he is preparing us for but it must be important. 

I have to admit I have had some difficulties the last while but my faith is getting stronger not weaker.  I miss my family dearly and want to be home with them more than anything but I also know I need to be strong and endure for as long as Heavenly Father wants me to.     

The Swimming Holes

I sometimes get lost in thought when I think of the things that made me happy growing up.  Most of them memories are of family activities.  Swimming was one of my favorites. 

The corner pond was always a fun place to go.  I remember when Scott was just a little guy he was playing on the edge and he just started walking out into the pond.  We had to stop him he would have gone in over his head.  I do believe this is where most of us learned to swim.  Dad sure could swim well he could go clear out in the middle and back.   I also remember all us cousins going swimming there.  This is where we met a lot of our friends.  It was defiantly the community swimming hole.   

Then there was Sunshine Dam this was the best place ever we had so much fun trying and sometimes succeeding swimming to the latter and getting under the water fall.  We could jump off where the water was running over or if we were really brave we could dive off and if we were trying to impress someone we could jump off the side, it was much higher.  I remember riding horses to Sunshine one time and we caught a bunch of girls skinny dipping.  As teenage boys we tried to act macho but in reality I think we were all pretty embarrassed.  I think the girls were embarrassed also.  We did leave long enough for them to get dressed.  We tried talking them into staying but it did not work.  We surly were not going to let that stop us from swimming.   I remember it was dark by the time we got home.

I cannot forget Cooks Pond Dad and Mom never really spent much time there but us boys did.  The first time we went there we were just exploring a bit further away from home.  I remember the Sun fish, there were so many we would toss small rocks into the pond and the fish would attack them.  We headed back to the house to get fishing poles.  When we got home Dad asked what we were up too?  We told him about the pond and all the fish.  He kind of shut us down, he asked if we had permission to be down there and if we had permission to fish.  Of course we did not I don’t think we even thought about that.  I think he could see the disappointment in our eyes, so he said (I think I know who owns it lets go give him a call.)  If I remember right Dad talked to Mr. Cook first then he had us ask for Permission.  Mr. Cook was really nice he just asked that we make sure we shut gates and have fun.  Dad let us go back as soon as we got off the phone.  The race was on we ran most all the way.  We could put five or six hooks on cast out and catch five or six fish.  We had so many fish when we got home, we could barely carry them all.  Dad explained to us that they were not good to eat.  But he was wrong we threw that bunch away but the next time we went we just made a fire and cooked them right there at the pond and they were mighty tasty you just had to be careful not to get poked by the spikes.  We had some great times down there.  We spent most of our free time down at Cooks Pond.

Music

Music, I am sitting here thinking I need to express my feelings about it but I cannot find the words to describe it.

If you read my blogs please comment on what music dose for you.  I am interested in the feelings it brings to you.  Maybe tell me what kinds of music you like and why?

I am hoping your comments will help me to learn how I can express my feelings better.

The Addiction

I did it again I just can’t help myself.   I think I must have an addiction to it.  I will do really well for a few days then I give in to the temptation.  It just feels so good; it makes my mind run wild.  I tell myself all its going to do is drive me crazy but crazy never felt so good.  After giving in its all I can think about it consumes all my thoughts.  I have never had such an addiction like this.  I think it is getting the best of me.  All I can do is feed the addiction.  I see mountains, cows, horses, chickens, pigs and my family.  It’s that crazy ranch; The Dream ranch making me think of all these pleasant thought. 

I Was Wondering

I was wondering, why am I doing this blog thing?  I really am not sure.  I have never been a writer or even good at spelling.  I just know I have had the strongest desire to write.  I fought it for several months telling myself I must be going crazy in my truck.  I would ketch myself thinking of things to write down, not anything specific just random thoughts.

I finally gave in a little bit and started texting my family about anything that came to my mind.  Yes I am sure I was driving them crazy also.  This texting thing kind of helped ease the desire for a short time but then it got worse it was like giving into an addiction; if any of you have ever had an addiction you know what I am talking about.  I kept texting but it felt like I needed to do more.

That’s when I started writing in a notebook but the way I write I was going through paper like crazy.  Not because I was writing too much I was making way to many mistakes; I would reread what I wrote and it just did not make much sense so I would rip it out and start over.  I am sure you are thinking, well he is not doing much better.

I finally got the old computer up and running. This made it much easier for me to just delete certain things and not everything.  I wrote my first story ever in a notebook and moved it to the computer.  For most people this would not be that big of a deal.  For me it was a great accomplishment and I felt it was inspired; The Dream Ranch.

 I was able to corner my boys and Pretty Girl just after Christmas.  I made them be the Ginny pigs, I asked Pretty Girl to read it, knowing I would get choked up; I know it’s silly but I get pretty emotional lately.  Any way I think it went over quite well at least they did not boo or laugh at me of course they might have just been being nice to their old man.  I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders after completing the story and then again it was like I had given into another addiction I felt I needed to start writing again. 

So I started this crazy blog.  I ketch myself thinking often about what I want to write about it is seldom anything I plan most of the time it is things that just pop into my mind.  I still feel I am being inspired to write.  Although I have no idea why, but who am I to argue with inspiration.  I hope someday I might figure out why I need to do this. 

 For those of you that humor me and read my post thanks.

My Mom and Her Pranks

My Mom, let me tell you something about my mom.  Don’t ever give her the chance to scare you because she can’t help herself.  It’s not all her fault it runs in the family, if you don’t believe me just ask the nurses that worked around my Grandpa Benson but I will save that for another story.

I will tell you of just a few times my Mom got me. 

Growing up in a large family if I got an opportunity to spend individual time with my parents I really cherished it even if it was set up.  It was a late night watching a movie with Dad and Mom.  About half way through the movie Mom asked if Dad and I would like steak.  Now I was feeling pretty special Steak and individual time.  The only thing is that the steak we had was from an older bull and he was tough.  The only way you could eat them steaks was to make them into a chopped steak. 

Dad and I were in the front room we could hear mom chopping away.  All the sudden we heard Mom let out a scream we ran right in to see what had happened.  Now let me tell you she was really pouring it on.  My Mom was pretty darn tough and if she was asking for help I knew it was bad.  Dad played right along also.  He was getting a rag when Mom asked me if I could hold out my hand.  I thought it was a weird request but figured I better do as she wanted.  Now in the basement’s the lights were not that good anyway and she only had the light by the cabinets on and being collar blind did not help either; the ketchup looked just like blood when she dropped the finger into my open hands.  She could have got me much better but her and Dad could not control themselves I knew I had been had. 

If I remember right Mom still cooked the steaks for us and we finished the movie in between Mom breaking out into a giggle. 

Another time Steven and I was just getting home from school usually the dog; Cricket our three legged dog was waiting for us as we got off the bus.  As we got closer to the house Mom met us, she looked pretty upset.  She told us Cricket had distemper or something.  She told us she locked him in mine and Stevens Room.

  Again I should have figured it out;  I got to tell you my bed was really important to me I did not allow anyone or anything on it.  Now there was a sick dog locked in my room.  This may sound bad but I would rather the dog die instead of getting on my bed. 

Needless to say I was pretty mad and ran upstairs to our room.  The poor dog he was the blunt of the joke also as soon as I opened the door he was out of there.  I immediately went to my bed to inspect.  Sure enough right on top of my bed was a big pile of dog crap.  I might have gone after the dog but when I saw Mom in the doorway and I knew the dog was outside I knew I was had.  I just could not believe she went that far to get me.  She handed me some toilet paper, with a smirk on her face, to clean the crap up.  I was really mad I wanted to through a fit.  As I grabbed the crap with the toilet paper I really knew she got me.  It was the realest looking fake dog crap I had ever seen.

So if you are around my Mom and think of a way she might get to you, it’s probably too late.

I Love my Mom and am so thankful to have a mom that kept me on my toes well not just my toes but the rest of the family and my buddies.  I will be writing more about the pranks she pulled once in a while. I will never run out of stories I am sure she is thinking about her next PRANK so beware.

Taylor this is for you

Taylor this story is for you.

When I was younger we lived up in Point of the Rocks Wyoming while dad was working up there.  One weekend we went for a drive in old blue; Old Blue was a 1968 dodge heavy ¾ ton with Dads homemade stock racks.   We boys were in the back of the truck, we loved riding back there we could get up in the headache rack and pretend we were driving.  Now if you have never been to Wyoming around Point of the Rock there is not much out there.  Once you get off the freeway north or south you can drive for miles and never see anyone.  I am not sure how far we were off the road but it was quite a ways.  As dad was driving another truck was coming toward us as it got closer dad and the other guy pulled up to each other.  I just figured it was a friend of dads since he worked out there blading roads for the oil companies.  The talked for hours we were pretty well behaved for a long time.   Finally they were done talking and we were on are way again.  Mom later told us she asked Dad after they were done talking (who was that?)  Dad said (I don’t know) I remember them talking like they were best of friends.  I think Mom was a bit aggravated.  But she knew how Dad was.

So see Taylor you come by your bull sessions honestly.  

My Grandpa Stubbs

My Grandpa Stubbs

I was thinking of my grandpa and a time I went up to help him get fire wood.  I had heard he was going after fire wood; with his bad heart and the elevation I worried about him.  I liked helping Grandpa anyway so I asked him I could go and give him a hand.  I was thinking that by me going I could do most of the work.  Boy I should have known better as soon as he knew I was going He decided we could take two vehicles and get a couple loads.  I did not mind other than I was kind of looking forward to the ride up and back so I could hear Grandpas stories. 

We left pretty early the next day getting up the mountain about day light.  We were in a good spot over by Oaks Park.  We went right to work I figured I would not take any brakes and work as hard as I could so Grandpa would not have to work as hard.  I never worked so hard I could not believe it Grandpa was working just as hard.  We had all the wood cut and almost one truck loaded before I asked Grandpa if he was hungry.  I was really glad he was hungry.  Finally I could take a break I was exhausted I could not believe Grandpa could still work like that he was close to seventy.

We took a pretty good break eating lunch.  I asked Grandpa about his childhood.  He told me some good stories.  I learned a lot that day.  We finished our sandwiches and figured we had better get the trucks loaded.  I did confess to him that I was trying really hard to out work him so he would not have to do so much.  He told me that I better slow down because he was not going to let me out work him and I darn near killed him before lunch.  Truth known it was me that almost died.  I have never worked so hard.

We finished loading the trucks at a much better pace.  When we got back to his house he did let me and my brothers unload it while he went in to rest.  We unloaded the wood split and stacked it I was worn completely out that night.

I learned a valuable lesson that day; my grandpa could still work most men under the table.  He surely was not going to let a young kid like me out work him.  I always cherish those times I got to spend with my Grandpa.  I also learned to never underestimate him.    

Grateful

I was reflecting on the past eight months of being on the road.  It has been hard being away from my family but the lessons I have learned have been invaluable.  The one thing about driving truck I had plenty of time to think and ponder.

I guess the biggest lesson I have learned is to not take the everyday things for granted.  I would like to share a few things that I might not have been as grateful for as I am now.

My wife; Pretty Girl, The smell of her hair, The smoothness of her skin, her kisses and hugs, holding her tight in my arms at night, her yummy deserts; Magic Cookie Bars is just one of them, the things she dose around the house, her making sure I have clean clothes, Her taking care of the boys.  I think the thing I am most grateful for is her faith in Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father.  I also am grateful just to be around her she is my best friend.

My boys each one of them have so many things I might not have appreciated as much until I was gone.  I remember my Grandpa.  We would all be gathered at his house for a get together.  He would sit in his easy chair turn down his hearing aid and just look around and smile.  I think I know that feeling now; just being around my boys watching them and of course sometimes I wish I had a hearing aid to turn down.  Not really for the most part I love hearing them tease each other and to hear them goofing off.  I miss going to church with them and watching them do their Priesthood duties.  They strengthen my testimony.

My home, living in a truck eating canned food and eating out at truck stops can really help you to appreciate home.  Oh and Pretty Girls breakfast there is nothing like it.  You may not know it but I like to bake and cook for my family, they are always gracious and pretend to like my experiments I think some things do turn out pretty good. My bed it’s not a new bed but it’s mine.  There is one thing I am really grateful for its kind of selfish but I really miss my hot coco and honey drink.

Our animals I really miss having them around me.  There is something about being able to talk with the horses and dog; I guess they really listen and have a love that only animals can have.  Even that cat of Jacobs; we have a special relationship she hates me and I dislike her, but I miss that darn cat mainly because Jacob loves her so much.

I have no regrets, I know that the lessons I have learned from driving truck and being away from my family is for my growth and my family’s.  I have come to realize that our Heavenly Father is going to be there for us no matter what path we have chosen.  I know he loves us and wants what is best for us but will never take away our agency.

I have no regrets, I know that the lessons I have learned from driving truck and being away from my family is for my growth and my family’s.  I have come to realize that our Heavenly Father is going to be there for us no matter what path we have chosen.  I know he loves us and wants what is best for us but will never take away our agency.

The road.  It has been hard being away from my family but the lessons I have learned have been invaluable.  The one thing about driving truck I had plenty of time to think and ponder.

Trent and Travis

I was thinking of Trent and Travis when they were younger.  They were the best of buddies even when Travis was just a baby.  We would have Travis playing on the floor and take our eyes off him for just a second and he would be gone.  He was not hard to find we would just find Trent.  He would come grab Travis by the foot and drag him into the bedroom to play with him.  Travis never seemed to mind he would always be smiling and giggling.  We would tell Trent he could not do that but he figured his little brother needed to play with him. 

As they grew they would play together all the time they never fought.  They would talk to each other in a language that only they understood.  Their mom and I got to where we could understand them fair.  This actually caused quite a bit of problems as they got older.  It caused them to take speech therapy when they got in school.  We tried to have them talk right but I would hear them talking their language when they were by themselves.  They would be just carrying on.  I know they understood every word they spoke together.

Through out there younger years they were together at all times.  They were so fun to watch they came up with some pretty amazing things.  I never knew what they were up too they kept me on my toes. 

I love these two boys and I would not trade them for the world.

Pleasant Dreams

I had the most pleasant dream last night.  I wanted to share it on here.  It started out with me walking through a hay field with a young boy; I am guessing he was around four or five.  He was like any young boy running ahead of me with more energy than he knew what to do with.  I remember telling him we would need to start cutting soon he just agreed with me not really paying attention.

As we walked through the field I remember thinking how lucky I was to have him with me.  At this point in my dream I did not know much about the boy other than I had a love for him just like I had for my other boys.

We made it to the corals and were doing the chores of course he was much more interested in throwing the stick for the dog than helping with the chores.  I watched as he played with the dog with a heavy heart thinking back to when the other boys were young playing with Silly and Yap.  I sure missed those days. 

After the chores were done we caught the horses; three of them one for me one for the boy and another for Pretty Girl.  We saddled them loaded them in the trailer.   I was not sure where we were headed until we got to the house to pick up Pretty Girl this is when I got excited; we went in to get Pretty Girl she was making the last sandwiches.  I asked how come so many sandwiches, she said with a question in her voice, I thought I would make some for the other boys. 

Then the dream started to come together we were headed to the mountain to help the boys move the cattle up to another pasture.  We loaded up and headed up the mountain the young boy said mom I am hungry. 

This was the first time in my dream I realized he was our son.  I was so excited I woke up I wanted to get back to sleep to finish the dream.  I did finally fall asleep and I did get to have more of the dream. 

It started out in the same place us heading up the mountain with Pretty Girl pulling out some cookies telling him only a couple the other boys need some to.  We arrived at a cabin right around lunch the boys were just getting back they had been out all morning pushing the cows toward the top fence. 

They were glad to see us they had been too lazy to fix breakfast and they were pretty hungry.  They were giving the young boy a hard time just like they did each other.  I had a feeling of love in me when I woke up.  I am hoping this dream will be a recurring dream I would love to learn more.   

The Bear

I was thinking of a time when I and Taylor were delivering some Conductor Pipe on a location up Parachute Creek.  I could not help it I had to laugh out loud just thinking about that time. 

I got the call on a weekend that the Bucket Rig was going to need their pipe on Monday.  Knowing I would be busy in the yard Monday I asked Taylor if he would like to ride up with me to deliver the pipe that Saturday.  I think he was excited to go, he takes after me and won’t pass up an opportunity to have a good bull session.

We headed to the yard and loaded it, chained it down really well; to get to the location we had a really steep twisty road to go up, it was about three fourths the way up the side of Logan Mountain.  We were finally ready to go, we stopped at the store got us a soda and candy bar.  As soon as we got off the pavement we only had about a quarter mile before we started up the steep road.

As we were headed up the mountain I had to go slow but I did not mind it gave me a chance to visit with Taylor; I worked a lot of hours and did not get many opportunities like this.  We could not run the air conditioner fearing the old dodge would overheat.  We could smell the smell of the mountain over the dust.  We talked about many things but the conversation turned to bears.  He asked me if I thought there were bears around.  I told him I figured there were bears all over the mountain.  I proceeded to tell him about the bears getting into the man camps.   Witch was not too far from the location we were going to.  We talked about how we might even see one if we kept our eyes peeled.   I could see he was a little nervous so I poured it on.

We finally pulled on location we were in the shadow of the mountain it was nice and cool.  I told Taylor we needed to just sit there a minute and let the old dodge cool down we continued talking about the bears.  It was not to long the truck had cooled down so I shut it off.  It was so peas full there was only the sound of the little creek below us and a slight breeze blowing through the trees.  We figured we had better get the pipe unloaded it would not take long we would just roll it off onto the ground.  I headed to the back of the trailer, Taylor stayed up to the front.

Being the Gentleman I was I waited until I got out of the truck and to the back of the trailer to relieve some gas that had been building up since the bottom of the hill?  It was a good FART quite long and loud.  I did not think too much about it until Taylor in a low voice asked me (dad did you hear that I think it might be a bear.)  I wanted to play along but I could not hold it in I laughed till my belly hurt.  I am not sure he seen the humor in it.  He did start laughing and making fun of his old dad for sounding like a BEAR. 

We had a good time.  I wish I could have had a lot more of them times with my boys but I will cherish the memories and times I did have.  I also hope there will be many more to come maybe we might see a real bear and not just hot air.

The Milking Disease

When Trevor was around five he came down with what I thought must be a virus or a disease.  I had never seen anything like it; little round Bruce’s all over on his fleshy parts of his body.  He had them on his cheeks, arms, and belly.  I and his mother were pretty concerned we read the medical books.  We asked around no one had ever seen anything like it.  He said they did not hurt him they would go away but more would appear. 

One night I figured I had better go check on Tyler and Trevor.  They did the evening milking and it was taking them longer than it should.  I thought maybe the milking machine might of quite working.  It was a one cow machine it had a compressor a portable tank with four hoses one for each tit.  The old milk cows were pretty gentle they were pure breed Holsteins but they had lost one quarter of their bag.  As I was getting close I figured I would sneak up on the boys and see what they were doing.  I could hear Tyler tell Trevor he needed to make sure the one milkier not in use was blocked off or the rest would quit milking.  As I got close enough to see into the milking shed through the cracks.  I could see Trevor sticking the milkier where ever he could to keep the others milking.

I should have known when I milked I would just stick one of my fingers in the fourth milkier and the rest would work just fine.  Poor Trevor’s fingers were too small so he could only let it get suction on his fleshy skin.  I was happy to find the cure for his virus or disease.  I did build a plug for them to use when milking.  I have to hand it to them boys they did whatever it took to get the milking done. 

I sure love my boys and I am so glad they gave me so many good memories.      

My Pretty Girl

Let me tell you about my Pretty Girl.  I met her on a LDS chat line.  I remember one of the things that made me really interested in her.   Was her telling me how she liked to play video games with her boys.  I also found out she was taking care of her Grandma.  After a while we started talking on the phone.  I felt like a teenager I would get all giddy when I talked to her.  We talked for hours; 5-10 hours sometimes.  I hated the phone until I met her.  She became my best friend.  I could talk to her about anything and everything.  She understood me and I felt I understood her.  I had never really known any one like her. 

She loves her family so much she told me about her family members so much especially her Grand Pa and Grand Ma.  I felt like I knew her Grand Pa even know he had passed away.   I was fortunate to get to know her Grand Ma before she passed away.  I could feel the love that they shared.  When I met her Mom and Dad and Sisters I felt like I already knew them. 

I know she loves our boys and cares about them.  I have seen her cry when they are hurt or when they accomplish something.  She is a caregiver to our family.  She strengthens our family.  She helps the boys to remember who they are.  She goes to all there school programs weather it is Foot Ball, Cross Country, Track or band.  She worries about their grades.  She makes sure they have clean close and good meals. 

I know My Pretty Girl loves me.  She over looks my faults and brings out the best in me.  Just being around her I want to do better.  She puts up with my silly way of thinking.  She encourages me to follow my dreams.  She never laughs at my silly dreams.  She stands by me even when I doubt myself. 

She loves our Heavenly Father and is always helping to build his kingdom.  She encourages me to magnify my callings.  She magnifies her callings.  She helps the boys to understand the importance of being worthy to hold the Priesthood.  She loves helping people with their family history.

My Pretty Girl is my best friend and my wife.  I am the luckiest guy around to have my Pretty Girl.

Our Heavenly Father Is So Smart

Our Heavenly Father is so smart he always knows just how to help me.  I have been having a rough time lately wondering if I have made the right choices.  I was supposed to go home this weekend but circumstances made it imposable.  I now know why. 

I have been pondering; if Heavenly Father knows what we will do before we do it why are we here?  The lesson in Sunday school was about this very thing.  One of the sisters had a really good way of explaining this.  She explained that our life’s are like one of those adventure books.  I was not sure I knew what an adventure book was so she explained.  It is a book where you make different choices and it will take you to different pages.  She explained that life is this way; we make choices that take us to different pages.  She explained that the author knows every possible outcome.  She said Heavenly Father is kind of like the author he knows every outcome for the choices we make but he will not take our agency away.

A brother made the comment, that even know Heavenly Father knows we will make mistakes he lets us do it to gain the experience we need to grow and do better.  I guess I knew all these things but today it really sunk in this thick scull of mine.

My Heavenly Father knew I needed the lessons taught today in Fruita  4^th ward.  I love my Heavenly Father and I truly know he loves and cares for me and wants what is best for me but he will never take away my agency weather I chose right or wrong.  I know he has given me the Holy Ghost to help me make the right choices it is up to me to listen for that small still voice

Lost

Taylor came in to tell me good night, he seen my page was blank and asked, do you have writers block.  I told him no it was just the opposite; my mind is racing and I have too much to write about.  We talked for a bit.  Taylor was telling me about some of his plans.  We decided that life is quite often hard and confusing.  I told him as long as we follow the spirit we will be okay.  We talked about how sometimes following the spirit is easier said than done.  I told him he would be okay just say your prayers.  He will be okay he is a good young man.

As for me I feel I am not doing that well.  How can I give my boys advice when I am so lost?  I try to follow the spirit; it’s just sometimes I am not sure if I really am doing the right things. 

I moved my family down to the valley thinking I could start a heating business so the boys could work with me and we could spend more time together.  The business did not work out I ended up losing most of the things we had.  I figured at the time that it was not so bad it was just temporal things they can be replaced.  The thing was I was not doing a very good job supporting my family. 

I ended up taking a job driving a truck over the road.  I was sure this is what Heavenly Father had in mind for me.  I just really don’t know any more I ended up being away from my family for months at a time.  I worked really hard thinking it was just temporary.  It was not all bad I did learn a lot, I was able to attend church in a lot of different places and I met a lot of great people.  I was starting to get caught up financially.  The best thing was I was able to see a lot of this beautiful country our Heavenly Father gave to us.   

After seven months of only being home a few days I thought I had an impression to change things up again.  I quite that job and started working with my brother Shad and my boy Taylor moving drilling rig equipment.  Working with Shad and Taylor has been great.  We have a couple old trucks and some old equipment.  I can see some real potential with the business taking off.  Shad has put a lot of time and effort into it.  But as my luck would turn out the rig stacked out.   It took all are money to license the trucks and trailer.  I am still not able to get home to see my other boys and Pretty Girl. 

I guess I am of little faith.  I have been really questioning myself the last few days.  Am I really following the spirit or is it my own ideas?  I am wondering would Heavenly Father want me away from my family. I would think Heavenly Father would want me to be close to my family.  I just am not really sure right now.  I thought I had life figured out at one time but now I fill I am really lost.

Several years ago I made a deal with Heavenly Father; I asked him if he would help me to hear and understand the small still voice of the spirit, I would do whatever he asked of me.  I have tried hard to do what he has asked but I am questioning if it was the spirit or just my imagination telling me what to do.  I am so confused and lost right now, I know this is what satin wants but I can’t find my way.      

You Can Just Call Me John Wayne

You can just call me John Wayne.  This is what my oldest boy Tyler told me when he was just a little guy.  I guess I can’t think of a better person to want to be.  He loved to watch John Wayne.   

I fell in love with this boy right away.  You see he came into my life when he was around two.  He fit right in he is a Stubbs all the way. 

I was pretty hard on him; you see we were both learning.  I treated him like he was much older than he really was.  He just wanted to do anything I wanted him to do.  Together we took on the world he was right by my side most all the time. 

I wanted to share a few memories I have with Tyler.  Right from the beginning we did most everything together.  One of his favorite things to do was sit on my lap while we were driving on the farm.  I would let him drive he was pretty good it was not long before I had him driving by himself.  When he was four years old he was driving on the farm.

It was in the spring during high water he went down to the creek with me.  The high water had washed a lot of narrow ditches in the fields.  As we were walking down the creek bank looking at the fences Tyler was stomping in all the water he could find.  I was walking pretty fast I stepped over one of the narrow ditches full of water it looked pretty deep.  As I was turning around to tell Ty to jump over it but it was too late I was able to grab his hand as he went down the water was over his head.  As I pulled him up he was gasping for air.  The spring runoff was cold we had quite a walk back only this time he made sure he went way out around the water.

School I hated it I lost my buddy during the day.  We did not let that stop us from having fun it was winter I had got an old snowmobile from my brother.  We would get up really early it was still dark we would bundle up.  We would take off down to the creek on that old snowmobile and ride all morning not getting back until just before school and work.  We would be freezing cold but it was worth it.

We were moving cows on the creek one summer I think Ty was eight at the time.  My brother Shad drove down by the Southam’s   place I drove down from the house.  We pushed the cows into the other pasture Shad ended up where I was at so I offered to drive him around to get his truck.  He told me there was no need he had asked Tyler to bring it home.  Now I did not mind Tyler driving on the farm but he would need to bring this truck around threw the city of Naples; cops, houses, traffic and shad nick named his truck DEATH.  He made it with no problems except my heart attack.  

Me and my brothers had a few old semi-trucks and an old Pay Loader along with a couple old farm tractors.  I think Ty was around eight or nine at the time.  We had him driving them big trucks and that big old loader.  Looking back I must have been crazy he was still just a kid.  Although he did a good job it’s no wonder he runs a loader for a living now.

We did many things together we never have stopped learning together.  He has been teaching me how to be a Dad and he has turned into a man.

I hope to write many more stories I have with my son Tyler.  I love him so much I hope he will have many good memories with his own son.

I Love You Tyler Thank you for being such a great son.