Crazy Desire to Write

I did not write on my blog yesterday.  I thought about writing for quite a while but I started wondering why am I writing a blog?  What am I trying to accomplish?  How did all this get start? 

I guess it all started several years ago but I dismissed it; writing is just not my thing.  Oh it came around once in a while but I really did not entertain it much.  About six months ago while I was driving over the road I got an overwhelming desire to write.  It was crazy I never did well in English.  I really don’t even read that much.  I tried to blow it off but it just kept coming back.  I did not even know what I should write about.  I did start doing better writing in my journal and I was writing long text messages to my family.  That seemed to help ease this desire to write for a little while but  It was not long before I felt that desire to write more.  I never had a feeling like this.  It was almost like when you get one of those cravings for something but you just can’t put your finger on it.

I Figured I better consult with Heavenly Father; it was driving me crazy.  Of course I was probably asking him the wrong things.  You guessed it I asked him to take away this silly desire to write.  I was telling him all about how I hated English in school and I mentioned to him about how I did not even read a full book until I was in my late twenties.

Well it worked for a while then something strange happened to me.  I started making up a story in my head.  Now it started out as just random thoughts and some old dreams then I started putting these thoughts and dreams together and a story was starting to develop.

Soon it was all I was thinking about, this silly story.  It was not a bad thing I was rather enjoying entertaining it.  I had the basic story all figured out but I would change it up often.  It was all jumbled up in my head nothing was in order.  That’s right; the desire to write started to come over me.  I could not deny it any longer. 

I stopped at a Wal-Mart got me a special note book just for this story.  I should have got several note books I never knew it would be so difficult to take what was in my head and write it down.  This crazy desire to write was so strong; I stayed up late most every night writing I would write after church and even in the middle of the day on my lunch break.  I would read it out loud and record it.  Then I would listen to the recording and start rewriting till it made sense.

It was not till I arrived home just before Christmas I was able to get my writings on the computer.  This is when it started to come together.  I could copy, paste and delete and yes I had spell check.  I worked on my story thinking I would like to read it to the boys and Pretty Girl; my family would all be together the day after Christmas and I had to work hard to have it ready.

I had a lot invested into this silly story, mentally and emotionally.  The time was finally here I presented my story to my family and asked if they wouldn’t mind listening to it.  I knew I would not be able to read it out loud without choking up; I told you I was emotional about it.  I asked Pretty Girl to read it she done great.

I had never written a story before; it was a personal accomplishment for me. I felt relived the desire to write was gone it felt good I thanked Heavenly Father for taking it away.  A few days went by and guess what the desire was back.  I could not figure it out why me. 

Well Pretty Girl had a blog My Kith, Your Kin, Our Family and I liked hers so I thought maybe I could start a blog write in it once in a while and be okay.   Well I started my blog January 4 2014 with my story The Dream and 37 posts later.

So that’s how it all got started but what does it mean, why do I have this desire to write? 

I got thinking maybe I am seeking some sort of glory, recognition?  I thought about it for a while I hope that’s not the case.

It could be I need to learn?  There could be some truth to this I have learned so much.  My spelling has become so much better; spell check actually knows what I am trying to say now. I and the computer still argue about correct grammar; this is a hard one because I want to learn but I want to be myself also.

After putting way to much thought into this I have come to the conclusion I don’t need to know why the desire is in me.  I realize Heavenly father helped put that silly story in my head to get me to write.  I don’t know why he wants me to do it but who am I to argue.  I have learned so much and hopefully I will keep learning.  You want to hear the funny part; I really am enjoying writing. 

I have changed my prayer from asking to take the desire away to helping me do better and of course I ask why he wants me to learn to write.  I guess in time I might get the answers but until then I hope you enjoy my blog as much as I do.

P.S. Thanks for reading and I welcome any comments or advise.